The World's Unsexiest Business
adding a little sizzle to the convenience store industry
Let's set the scene, mood, and feel. Then just as you suspected--the smell of money in the air. A bunch of lawyers get together for a Sunday evening gathering at a downtown Los Angeles local watering hole down the street from the firm. (Partner note to self: best to minimize the distance between the mahogany paneled relics of the old boys club and the extracurricular activities.) The place where the lines between morality, justice, and capitalist self preservation become all too blurred.
And in the event an 11th hour class action directive heads their way? Rally the troops and wake the commander.
The direct purpose of such a weekend festivity could be summed up by what else but a heavy dose of inebriation with a dash of middle manager aspirational camaraderie. Consumption by means of intravenous injection not required. But highly recommended. Now the indirect purpose of such an impromptu soiree sits in a position that's anything but whimsical--a determined search for the next windfall sucker. A couple of hours into the extortion inducing drink-a-thon, the culmination of a "breakthrough" is reached. Though the sucker and bait might be different this time, what seems to never change is the nuisance lawsuit that eventually yields a billion dollar unicorn worthy business model.
Financier$ get your checkbook$ ready!
(Speculative immoral litigation needs funding)
A junior associate proposes the following:
Apple, Google, and Waze navigation applications are intended by alleged 'design' to guide drivers to their destination in the shortest period of time. The straightest path? Maybe. Or the least circuitous one? Perhaps. But that's up to the driver whose familiarity with toggling some lesser known option features can make the difference between the road less traveled and punctuality.
Now what happens when drivers are given an ever so slight run around only to add a couple of minutes getting to their destination? Perhaps coincidentally driving in close proximity to a retail establishment or two that may just need the kind of attention it normally doesn't. Or couldn't, for that matter. All without the help of, say a well planned detour?
Now how about a detour which takes driver past a generally low vehicle traffic gas station? Seems far fetched or even conspiracy theory laden? No way brah. The apps would never get you caught up on the wrong side of town without you realizing it almost immediately. But they might oh-so-subtly push you on the wrong side of the street. What about the perilous situation that follows of a U-turn being maneuvered while a negligent red light 'jumper' heading towards you. We all know how this story ends.
And to a heavy emotionally swayed grand jury it's an even more compelling sob story.
It doesn't matter whether the offending driver was far too blasted out of his mind on Jack, Johnnie, or Jose. All eyes, ears, money, and resources are narrowly diverted to how and then why the superfluous U-turn was made. Ambulance chasing hits the information highway. No scratch that. It's the biggest heist of the big data interstate.
Arriving at a courthouse near you...
See the following for more:
Globe and Mail